How we found our smiles again
The journey to finding my smile again was a long and winding road, marked by the shadows of an eating disorder that had clouded much of my life. For years, I was always told to smile, yet every glance in the mirror revealed an absence where joy should have been. Those fleeting moments when I did manage a smile were often tied to being at my thinnest—a facade that masked deep-seated struggles.
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Throughout this battle, I felt adrift, searching for a place where I belonged and where love felt unconditional. But amidst the turmoil, there was one constant source of warmth and acceptance: Tyson, my first Pit Bull love. Together we weathered countless storms; his steadfast presence often seemed like the only anchor keeping me afloat during some of life's darkest moments.
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My eating disorder took so much from me—dreams of fashion deferred and paths not taken. The inner bully was relentless in its pursuit of perfection, never allowing me to feel enough. Yet Tyson saw past all that; he loved me through it all—the tears shed on bathroom floors and days when darkness seemed unending. His unwavering loyalty saved me time after time.
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Despite the prejudices we faced due to his breed—people unable to see beyond "Pit Bull" to notice his gentle spirit—we persevered together as our own little team against the world: BullyProof. For three decades this internal struggle raged on, but with Tyson by my side, I began to understand what true love looked like: unconditional acceptance.
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When our journey together came to an end after 14 beautiful years with him by my side, saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done. As I kissed him farewell for the last time, gratitude filling every tear—for teaching me resilience against life's battles and showing how powerful genuine connection can be. For never giving up on me and loving all my imperfections unconditionally.
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I promised Tyson then that I'd continue fighting—not just for myself but also for others grappling with mental illness—and advocate for more people experiencing transformative love from their own Tysons out there in this world because their love can truly save lives.
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Most importantly though? He taught me how vital it is never give up searching until you find your smile again...Today, I'm working towards honoring him by helping others find their smiles too—a mission he inspires daily—and cherishing mine because he showed me how precious it truly is.
Fred & Saki's story...On a beautiful warm sunny day in June 2021, our lives changed forever. Fred and Saki, my beloved pit bulls, were innocently playing in the driveway when a neighbor came walking through the woods. As most dogs would, they ran up to greet him, but the unthinkable happened – he opened fire, shooting Saki once in the neck and Fred three times, claiming they attacked him. Anyone who knows my two loves understands that this couldn't be further from the truth. He walked away like it was nothing, leaving my babies fighting for their lives.
Saki was lucky, returning home that night with a through-and-through bullet wound in her neck, narrowly missing her spine. But Fred wasn't so fortunate. He was in critical care for four days, enduring three blood transfusions, a docked tail, open lung surgery, but came home – a testament to the resilience of this breed.
To those who know me, my love for my dogs is absolute and unwavering. Tyson, my first pit bull, was a gift as puppy in 2005 from a cherished loved one whom, I tragically lost a year later. For the next 14 years, Tyson and I faced life's challenges together. He was my constant companion, my hero, and despite the breed's unfair stigma, he showed me the true gentle nature of pit bulls. His breed, however, imposed countless restrictions on our journey, limitations I struggled to comprehend. How could anyone hate such a wonderful companion?
When Saki entered our lives, I harbored doubts, fearing the disruption of the sacred bond I shared with Tyson in his twilight years. But he embraced her wholeheartedly, becoming her mentor and protector. His loss was one of the most devastating moments of my life, but in those 14 years together, I vowed to fight for pit bulls everywhere, to challenge the prejudices they face. Fred's arrival was unexpected, a blessing during my grief, and though initially hesitant, I could not turn away a soul who had already suffered so much. Saki embraced her role as his doting (if sometimes annoying) big sister, and their bond became unbreakable.
As a pit bull mom, I live in a constant state of vigilance, my protective instincts heightened by the misunderstandings and dangers this breed faces. To the uninitiated, my fierce devotion seems excessive, but we pit bull owners know the truth – these are not vicious animals, but loving companions who have been tragically misunderstood.
Since losing Tyson, Saki and Fred have taken up his mantle, steadfast companions through every struggle. Tyson's fighting spirit lives on in them, and I know he would not want me to falter in my commitment to their safety and the preservation of their breed. Fred reminds me of Tyson's old soul every day, while Saki stands ever-vigilant, their protector. On that fateful June day, a senseless act of violence shattered our peace, but it also strengthened my fight. We will not be cowed by ignorance or hatred. We will fight, as one family, to protect our beloved pit bulls and change the narrative surrounding this noble breed. My fight to recovery kept me away, but now we are ready, to show the world we are BullyProof.
